I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
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