So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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