I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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