we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
