its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
