I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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