she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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