At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
