If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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