I hate all girls vehemently.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
