tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize