Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
