so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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