Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
