Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
