he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
