when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize