There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
