it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
