Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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