Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I feel like death gave me a hand job
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
