you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
