the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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