I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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