hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
