I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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