why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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