yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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