Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
