3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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