I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
