i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
