that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize