Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
