I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
