i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
