I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
