Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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