I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
