There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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