just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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