There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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