ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
