i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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