Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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