Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
