What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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