JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
