i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
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He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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