Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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