it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
