Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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