Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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