hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
