Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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