i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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