Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
