I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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