Me too!
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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